Reflections of a Board Member by Jenny O’Gorman
I joined the CPA Board in 2022, thanks to encouragement from Kate Adams and Kate Dufton. Having been regularly attending the Co-ordinating Group meetings, I thought I had a rough idea what to expect from the role, but I still felt massively under-prepared and as though I didn’t have enough skills. Despite my uncertainty, I put my name forward. I secretly told myself at the time that if I still felt like my voice wasn’t needed after 6 months, I could step down.
The reality of being on the Board was nothing like I had imagined. I had pictured something fairly hierarchical and orderly, perhaps modelled on what I knew of business-style Boards, with lots of propositions to vote on, and formal presentations. Perhaps some Boards are like that, but not the CPA one.
The CPA Board was a friendly, welcoming space from the start. Some members clearly knew each other well and had worked together over a number of years, but others, like me, were new to the space and didn’t have established connections. Every Board meeting starts with a psychosocial check in, so members are immediately bringing in parts of themselves which are integrated with the wider world – coming into the meetings alongside their pets, a reflection on a recent walk, grief over recent global news, personal health or social issues, joyful anecdotes, and more.
Practically speaking, there is a process: an agenda, with relevant papers circulated in advance, standing items, rotating topics for deeper discussion, and decision-making. But the tone of these is rooted in climate psychology. Thought is given as to how to hold space for each person’s voice and there is never any pressure to contribute until and unless you are ready. Disagreements are considered and reflected upon, and everyone respects that other points of view are informed by different life experiences and therefore all valid. At times, voting is delayed if more time for contemplation is needed and the issue is not too pressing.
The Board as I have known it operates sociocratically, and actively attempts to resist the capitalist drive towards growth, speed and thoughtlessness. All CPA members are invited to attend, with meetings held on an open basis and mostly virtually, and minutes are circulated on membership platforms for transparency.
There are negatives, too, as with anything. At times, I found that the papers were circulated too close to the Board meeting to be able to read them with the care and attention I felt they deserved; a consequence of everyone contributing time voluntarily and therefore fitting things in around other aspects of their lives.
There have been times for me personally when other Board members have spoken about something in such a way as to disturb the sediment of my own internal matter, leaving me in a fog and unable to fully be present (thankfully, this has been rare). There have been occasions when a particular discussion has opened up so many avenues of thought that other items on the agenda – some of which feel equally important – have been left unattended to. At times this has happened repeatedly so that these items drifted away, which has felt difficult and painful. The Board is able to reflect that this can be representative of broader dynamics mirroring the drivers of climate breakdown, such as when topics of inequality and decolonisation were repeatedly scheduled for the end of the agenda rather than given priority.
What I have attempted to bring to the Board in the last 3 years is a form of deep noticing. I have tried to use my personal and professional experience to tap into the moments of ‘moving away’ and drawn the other Board members’ awareness back. I have tried to consider any decisions through a lens of intersectional justice, building on the decolonising work CPA has established and continues to develop. This has meant bringing marginalised aspects of my identity as a disabled, non-binary, bisexual, neurodivergent, working-class person, but also maintaining awareness of the areas of privilege I carry, such as being white, living in a colonising nation and having had access to multiple tiers of education. There has been a balance to find in this, but it has also been important at times to lean into the imbalance: justice-based decisions are not always decisions of equality, but of equity, and this can mean actively choosing to put limited resources into one area over another instead of spreading them out.
I have found that some topics are harder to speak to, particularly when it becomes clear that my voice is likely to be an outlier against an emergent consensus. Sometimes I have spoken up anyway, but at other times I have felt silenced. Reflecting on these experiences has been vital for my development as a Board member, and as a therapist and activist – it has mostly been my own material which has prevented me speaking in such moments, but at other times it has been the experience of noticing a dynamic in the Board which parallels the society in which we operate, where particular narratives have been internalised by enough members as to be accepted as ‘common sense’ and holding a different stance has felt risky.
It can be difficult to situate the Board within the broader web of CPA, as connections between members, groups and partner organisations ebb and flow. Being on the Board does not have to mean knowing all that is happening, but it does mean being open to learning, thinking and feeling with one another.
CPA is now on the cusp of another change in applying for charity status, and there will undoubtedly be a new iteration of what it means to be a Board member.
Joining the Board will feel different for different people; no doubt current Board members will find aspects of my reflection where their experiences converge and others where they diverge. This is the strength of an organising body which recognises itself as part of the natural world, containing multitudes and yet not claiming omniscience. To me, the CPA Board will always be a form of lichen: creative, deeply exploratory, and growing in partnership.
Author's Bio
Jenny O'Gorman is a queer, disabled, working-class person and currently sits on the CPA Board. They work as a psychotherapist, writer and editor. Jenny is also a climate justice and disability rights activist. They live in Gloucester with their partner, son, and an ornamental stone cat.
